From what I can tell, Doug is doing slightly better today…at least from his telephone reports. I told him today to stop apologizing for everything as if his having cancer was his own fault and everyone else’s problem.
I called him too many times this morning:
- First thing when I woke at 5 am. (the hospital doesn’t even allow calls through that early.
- Then he called me at 5:15 am to apologize that he didn’t call me at 5 am to make sure I had gotten up for work; which, I was afraid I wouldn’t as a thunderstorm was coming through and I feared the power would go out and the alarm wouldn’t sound.
- 6:30 am on the way to work
- 7:00 am when I got to work.
- Let’s say about ten more times after number 5.
Of course, he was worn out by my calling, and having been a patient myself way too many times, I should have known he just needed to rest. The calls were all selfish, just for me! So Doug told me in so many words that he needed to rest so I grew up for the first time in 30 years and just let him be.
Of note today:
- Fever is gone, though some think a fever is a “good thing”????
- He took less pain medication today: yesterday morphine wasn’t even working!
- He is eating more food. I tried to scare him into that one because I’ve had a feeding tube shoved up my nose and down through my Adam’s apple. Believe me, it is easier to force down horrible hospital food than to have it pumped in through your nose!
- His voice sounds brighter, more life in it.
- He is still having diarrhea but it is slowing slightly, still about every two hours.
I think his colon is becoming less fried and, perhaps more par-boiled at this point, but don’t expect to see him home anytime real soon. Although I saw him walking through the kitchen last night in his beige hoodie, with the hood up and his maroon sweatpants, plain as day. We leave footprints which exist outside of time.
I can’t in any way thank all of you enough who have even spent a second giving hope to us through prayer, meditation, fingers-crossed, heads bowed, hands held together…whatever you have done and can do is building Doug’s body back together and revitalizing both of our souls. I will, however, try to thank you by saying from both of our hearts (hearts do speak) “THANK YOU AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL,”