Doug was very happy to see his family! His Aunt, Mom, and Sister came to visit him and he perked up quite a bit and even got quite chatty. Doug loves his family very much.
Unfortunately, Doug started running a slight fever, which hadn’t been an issue up until now, so the doctor ordered a chest Xray to look for pneumonia since this bad flu is going around. They have found no proof of infection thus far but are treating him with antibiotics as a precaution. His pain comes in waves and it must be quite severe because he will lie there with a grimace on his face. I keep reminding him that one of the reasons he is here is so he doesn’t have to suffer and he is not bothering the nurse by asking her for relief; they have all been very kind here.
We cried together today when I told Doug I saw a male Cardinal bird in the backyard when I went back home to get some things to bring to the hospital. We have come to think of this beautiful bird as a symbol of Doug’s departed father, Wally. I told Doug that I waved to the Cardinal and said “Hi Wally”; Wally is watching over his son—I am certain of that fact. I didn’t intend to make him cry but he is exhausted from dealing with the pain. We have a lot of loss and sorrow over the last year…sometimes it just gets to you; but, you have to keep grinding along.
I just saw a robin. It’s December and there shouldn’t be a Robin here; they are a harbinger of Spring.
A phrase came to my mind: “Hope springs eternal” Then I wondered where the phrase came from; it came from a poem by Alexander Pope entitled “An Essay on Man”.
- “Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never is, but always to be blessed:
The soul, uneasy and confined from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.”
- He cautions that our soul is never happy trapped in the human body, ruled by the human ego. We never realize that we are one with God and we are already blessed, instead we wait until we cross over to be so; and, he warns to not let your soul be uneasy, resting and waiting to write our story in the afterlife. Your story is to be written right here and now.
- Another tiny miracle…
So let us pretend to live without fear; for what tomorrow will
Bring we can do little for but sing, as a songbird would, at the rising Sun then blink to try to clear the blur which comes from a night of Songbird’s dreams; a dark and darker night which seems more real Than the nest on which he spills the mourning raindrops of a
Deep night’s breath then quivers; or, are those sounds the
Dying shivers which one hears overnight when awakened by a Nightmare’s gasp at life?
The songbird’s nightmare is a sash which overhangs the joy
And, unlike a spoiled child who has lost his favorite toy,
He see’s the rising sun and perches up to sing
For he has lived another way and despite the dark
Is inspired by a golden light burning, as it were:
A day, a day, a day.
Squaw Creek National Wildlife Refuge, Dec. 7th 2014.
I’m seeing Robins around the last two days. Usually by this time of year they are long gone. This struck me as rather odd.